Movin' On Up

Graham is creeping up towards the 18-month mark, which (for all you non-parents) means he’s at the “fun stage.” He’s transitioning from infancy to toddlerhood, and part of that is developing a personality. Sure, he has his likes and dislikes — he loves yogurt and hates peas, for example — but it’s a lot more than that.

He is discovering his sense of humor, including goofy behaviors and tendencies. He loves "risky play" activities, from climbing to balancing to trying to lay on top of one of our cats. He’s really into Bob the Builder and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. (As parents, our favorite kids show is Bluey, although I’ve also introduced him to spiece of my own childhood: Little Bear and Blue’s Clues.)

Graham looks forward to bathtime. He’s not as much into storytime as he used to be, but he really enjoys MEGA BLOCKS and puzzles. He’s also really big into cleaning and organizing, which definitely lines up with our personalities. It’s kind of a quirky-but-cute thing, really.

So many little pieces. It’s interesting. I always knew that my personality and Kim’s would affect Graham’s interests, either directly or indirectly. But as I mentioned in my last post, I never really thought about what it would be like to watch Graham develop interests outside of that.

As an adult, I don’t usually think about how my interests affect — or maybe stem from — my personality. Why does it matter that I love rewatching old shows (because I tend to forget them) or prefer to take a shower at night rather than in the morning? These details felt insignificant, but watching Graham develop habits has made me rethink that. Maybe our interests and tendencies are more than just “symptoms” of our personality.

Sorry, weirdly philosophical tangent. Let’s get back on track.

Parenting in tandem

I think the best part of being a dad is how it has affected my marriage. You hear a lot of stories about how having kids made things difficult or stressful for parents; I can certainly see why. 

But for us, it’s done the opposite. 

Without family (or even many friends) in the area, Kim and I have learned that we have to be a strong team. We need to be in sync, working together and talking through everything. It means we spend even more time with each other — family time, as well as “us” time. There’s not a lot of separation, even for personal time, but we’ve made it work. And I think we’re better for it.

It’s also important for Graham to see that. The better our marriage is, the more stable and relaxed our household is. Kim and I are both quiet, laid back people, and Graham is one of the most chill babies I’ve ever seen — I’m sure that’s not a coincidence. 

We want our home to be a peaceful and safe place for Graham, and most of that comes down to the sort of environment we create. Which, again, is largely influenced by how we feel about each other. How we spouse is just as important as how we parent, and the fact that we talk about that and work on it together can only be a good thing for Graham’s development.

This is one of those parts of the journey that you figure out as you go. And thankfully, I get to figure it out with my best friend — that’s something I hope I never take for granted.